The Engineer winces while the Scout yelps and throws his paws in the air. You want to be my lover?! Spy, look at this. Miss Pauling: Scout, it's Pauling. The hand collapses. ], [A match is lit, revealing Scout and Miss Pauling pressed up against each other in a dark enclosed space.]. Scout backs up as one of the tentacles swipes at him. Um. Miss Pauling: That was so much FUN! Whoa Not exactly, Soldier. The hand collapses. Give me your watch! Scout grabs a hold of her and yanks her off to one side as the bread monster knocks the bomb around. Expiration Date is a movie that was released on the 17th of June 2014 to promote the Love and War Update. The dead BLU soldier slides off the roof. An upbeat, funky jazz track starts playing. ], [The camera cuts to a rear shot of the van pulling into a dirt road flanked by rocky cliffs and several Sentries and a RED-owned building in the distance. medic! Um. The cards in the bucket also read "LOL. Spy: [smugly] Asking out that dial tone again, I see. The Scout, meanwhile, bounces off the bread monster and lands on his feet in a battle stance. Miss Pauling: Not everybody, Soldier. A body bag and shovel can be seen strapped to the back of it. TF2 - Frying Pan. He suddenly looks concerned and stops eating his Sandvich. [Side shot of the van rolling down a ramp and pulling into a garage. ], [The blackboard has the results of previous teleporter experiments written on it. The Heavy leaves the keys in the ignition and exits the van. Scout and a busty, blonde haired woman are standing at a counter with buckets of "Conquistador Fried Giblets" brand chicken drumsticks.]. The Heavy looks harassed and brings the vehicle to a stop. [She holds her hand out expectantly]. It's just bread that gets tumors! No, actually, wait [The Scout is interrupted by a scream, and the Soldier flies into the hangar and lands on the ground.]. Spy: [growing more irritated] I'm crying and the Eiffel Tower has stink lines coming off of it. The Engineer smacks his Sentry Gun with his wrench, upgrading it to Level 2, and he motions for Demoman to join the battle as well.] We killed everybody and took a briefcase! Spy: [sudden close-up while the background music cuts off] The clock is ticking, gentlemen. He tosses the keys in the air and deftly catches them. [She pushes past the Scout, who follows her.] Everyone is wearing an odd watch with a large digital display. We're not dying! The Heavy manages to find a Sandvich and leans contently on the fridge door and takes a bite.]. Deep chimes accent the moment], [The strings slow then stop. 1. [he tosses it and draws another while the Scout giggles] A dragon having sexual congress with me. The Heavy's bulk is apparent on the left as compared to the Scout's relaxed pose with his feet on the dashboard. The Insult That Made a "Jarate Master" Out of Sniper. The fans of the popular shooter Team Fortress 2 are disappointed over a move the coorperation has made. Behind him, the Pyro and Spy are holding a bottle of wine and a bucket of chicken. You can help me yank the molars out of a box full of heads. ], [The camera cuts to a shot of Spy and Scout in a classroom setting. Spy: Say that [pushes microphone towards Scout] again. I'm leaving the van now. Scout: Yeah, sure! --this! [He grabs the Soldier by his coat.] The dove from earlier flies at the monster and is promptly eaten by it. [The Heavy lifts up the side of the monster's body, allowing light to flood over Scout and Miss Pauling.]. [The flute continues to trill in the background. Scout: That's right, fancy pants, myself! 48. The word DINNER is written on the chalkboard as Spy says something to the Scout. Y'all ought to take a look at this. With the Demoman on the far right in the foreground grasping his bottle, everyone else is arranged counter-clockwise from him: Pyro, Sniper, Heavy, Scout, Soldier, and Spy on the right foreground. The Spy rolls his eyes and shakes his head in amusement.] The mercenaries' expressions show varying degrees of interest. They're usually pretty accurate in my experience, at least for more distinct fonts. The Spy steps from the front of the table and walks from right to left, lit cigarette in his right hand, and the left firmly clasped behind his back.]. Miss Pauling: [distracted] Scout? The camera goes from the poker table with the Demoman drinking, the Heavy and Sniper dozing, and the Pyro reading a magazine; to the Medic and Engineer in a lab, with the tumorized bread; and to Soldier carrying away a giant pile of bread loaves in his arms. (Note: captions read "diner")[He opens the door to reveal the maw of a giant bread monster, who lets out a loud roar, all while an epic orchestra plays. Expiration Date Sequel Script (LEAKED) : tf2copypastas - Reddit [Suddenly, the Spy's voice is heard. Fuzzy dice adorn the rear view mirror. This is the final Team Fortress video to feature Rick May before his death in 2020. (Note: caption reads "business"), [Heavy can be seen in the background, checking the fridge's contents. Scout: Oh [He stands up, bringing the desk with him. At 3:02, the animation when Scout smiles and looks at Soldier is recycled seconds later at 3:05. The Scout and Heavy look worried while the Engineer looks down at the floor. The camera angle is also slightly higher up than in the final video. Scout: [in pain] Wait! The Spy draws a note card from the bucket.]. Both Scout and Miss Pauling look down at the wood below them. An upbeat, funky jazz track starts playing. Then they realize. With the Demoman on the far right in the foreground grasping his bottle, everyone else is arranged counter-clockwise from him: Pyro, Sniper, Heavy, Scout, Soldier, and Spy on the right foreground. A Payload Pinball machine can be seen in the background. ], Scout: Hey, hey Miss Pauling! A literal bucket list. [Miss Pauling has now removed the panel off of the detonation mechanism of the bomb, and can be seen frantically messing with the wires. [The screen then cuts to a text with the Team Fortress 2: Free to Play logo with the sharp tolling of a bell. I'm going to be dead. He leans on it trying to force the furry out.]. After a brief delay, he raises his hand in front of him to shield his eyes from the bright lights. You are better than me. He glances down to his right, and picks up a long piece of twisted metal with a spike on the end of it to use as a makeshift weapon. [Spy walks away to pour a drink. The camera pans to a shot showing all the mercenaries gathered around the table intently focusing on his words. Miss Pauling: [Yelling] What the hell is that!? Scout: [regains confidence] You're probably real busy this weekend, right? The camera slowly pans to the left, revealing the Engineer and Medic with a pair of teleporters set up between them. [The strings rise to a crescendo while the camera dramatically zooms to the Medic's face. ], [The Spy pushes a button on the console and a microphone pops up. Earn it! Scout: [frantic yet hushed strings play] But you, Spy. Right. The Heavy looks at his Sandvich, sniffs it, shrugs, and continues eating.]. Ow. ], Spy: Our first dying wish is Scout's. At 1:35, the Medic's left hand clips with his backpack. More cans of BONK! It hates me so much! If there's something any of y'all wanted to do before yaWell. Miss Pauling: You're already going to be at that one. Miss Pauling: Have a good weekend guys. [She points at the hangar they just exited from.] Got to go. Right. If not, I gotta kill him. The Heavy remains at the fridge door, eating his Sandvich, but observing.]. A.M. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. In recent news, the video-game company Valve is in hot water. Behind him is a crash-test dummy, hanging on a stand. The kind that smell good, and can read. Copypasta - archiving the internet's meme and troll messages [relaxes and chuckles] So yeah, Miss Pauling. As the camera pulls back farther, the Pyro can be seen coming into the shot, who has the small bread monster darting around his legs like a puppy as they try to keep track of it.]. In the short, characters Engineer and Medic discover that tumors appear in bread upon being teleported, with the bread becoming aggressive. [2] Team Fortress 2 Wiki June 11, 2014 Patch. Expiration Date - YouTube You too. Spy: [An expression of disbelief crosses his face] Yourself? ], [As Miss Pauling walks towards the door, the scooter falls onto its side. Cut to a shot of Miss Pauling on a scooter, speeding towards RED Base. Demoman: Woo. Blonde fox: [shrugs] Eh, okay. Medic:I didn't say that! The camera spotlights the loaf with ominous bass piano notes. Miss Pauling: [Opening her eyes] I can't feel anything below my neck Miss Pauling: Oh. [The screen fades in to a shot of desert road, similar to Meet the Sniper. ], [The Scout reaches over and with his right hand, pushes a button on the monitor. No. They stop as he holds her up and looks at her. The will. He places a hand on the Heavy's shoulder, jerking him awake. The furry, however, is unimpressed.]. The camera zooms in on the top of the bomb where the words DANGER: BOMB are spray-painted onto it. The camera pans to a shot showing all the mercenaries gathered around the table intently focusing on his words. Listen now We've been running some experiments on the Teleporter. You know, classy ones. Spy: We have seventy hours to live. Expiration Date is a movie that was released on the 17th of June 2014 to promote the Love and War Update. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Meanwhile, Scout stops insulting Spy long enough to ask him an embarrassing favor; the Administrator's clerical assistant/cleaner/murder expert Miss Pauling races to bury some incriminating bodies; and Soldier makes a new metal friend. Shattering glass can be heard.']. Looks like I will be burying bodies all weekend. While the entire film was planned a year in advance, actual production of the short took about six months. This is a reference to ". A BLU Demoman's boot can be seen sticking out from underneath of the hood which has a hood ornament reading "SWORD". His brow wrinkles], Spy: drawn a picture of me getting vored by a Sergal. Engineer and Medic are seen at the bottom of the shot discussing something. I TELEPORTED BREAD! [Suddenly, the Spy's voice is heard. ], Miss Pauling: [Yelling] What the hell is that!? [She points at the hangar they just exited from. Jump cut to the future, and a pile of books has begun to accumulate around Scout, who has a pencil clenched between his teeth. One of Medic's doves can be seen sitting in a birdcage hanging from the ceiling.]. [RED BASE: 70 HOURS TIL DEATH Cut to the RED BREAD building. Scout can be seen dodging the tentacles, jumping onto one and using his makeshift weapon to impale one of the other tentacles. As the Medic inspects the teleporter, the Engineer calls out to him. Everything you just said was insane and, we are out of time. ], [SPY'S SMOKING ROOM: 58 HOURS TIL DEATH Cut to rear shot of the Spy sitting back in his leather arm chair. Screw you, though [He walks by an alarm that's labeled In Case of Briefcase theft, push button. Expiration Date - Team Fortress 2 Short - YouTube ], Medic: [Turning to the Engineer] Ready! Soldier: Arrghh! [ All the mercenaries are expressionless except for the Heavy who is on the verge of falling asleep with his arms folded. [He removes the watch from his arm and gives it to Miss Pauling] See, that is where this all starts! [he tosses it and draws another while the Scout giggles] The Eiffel Tower having sexual congress with me. Team Fortress 2 Expiration Date Reaction - YouTube [The Medic and the Engineer are discussing something, but turn to Scout when he addresses them. TF2 - Heavy Laughlong. Wait! The Heavy takes a drumstick from the fridge and tosses it over his shoulder. As long as nobody teleports any bread. tscheezpuffs. The windshield has bullet holes on the left and is completely knocked out on the right. Go [bleep] yourself. Hey that's, that's funny. At 11:55, the Scout's weapon clips through the side of the bread monster after he hits it. Okay. As the van drives in, a wooden prop of a cactus with some desert plants pops up and a painted curtain background falls into place, disguising the entrance.]. Scout: [Struggling] Aaahhhh Ah UwU, Miss Pauling, you all right? Tell me you got the briefcase. [brings out a flip notebook] [The camera slowly pulls back to reveal the body of the monster, which now lays motionless. Goodbye! I get one day off a year. You know, classy ones. And this. I'm great with girls. This never leaves this room [sigh]. No. Cut to black. Miss Pauling: [Her expression darkens] Scout, I'm here right now. Miss Pauling: [she continues talking as the camera pans] Look, just keep the briefcase safe okay? Scout: [unconvincingly] Miss Pauling. Engineer: Guys! The Sniper attempts to take another shot at the monster but instead is lifted into the air by a tentacle that has grabbed a hold of the barrel of the rifle.
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